my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
