maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Banned from zoo.
Again?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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