The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
