awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
