if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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