his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
