Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
