i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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