too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
