At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there's paper in my vomit.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
