I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
