Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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