when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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