What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize