Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
