Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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