the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
