I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
