I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
