i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He better not be in your backpack
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
