I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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