i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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