So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
