think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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