Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
