After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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