I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
