A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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