Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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