She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
