No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize