Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
