so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
