I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
