i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
