Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
