Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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