She's JV to your varsity
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
