Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I think I just sharted jello shots
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
