why didn't you poke me back
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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