I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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