u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
