i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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