no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
