my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
