Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
