yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
