My cat gives me a boner
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize