No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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