i think i scared a bird with my dick
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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