the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
