I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
