i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
