My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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