I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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