**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...so i touched it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just crazy horny about you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
