I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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