He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
