Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
