Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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