Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
