my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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