very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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