Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
