i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
