It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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